found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
