I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
