I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
