the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
