yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
so much tequila, so little girl.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
