So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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