Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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