i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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