I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
