3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize