Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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