This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
