Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
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I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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