i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
