I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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