I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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