I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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