It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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