Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
