she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can I color on your dick again?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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