It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
