i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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