This girl is more easily done than said...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
