Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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