Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
