so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
