you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
