Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
