Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Soap is not a condiment
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize