is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
whose parrot is this?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
