I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I understand Curling. That high.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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