I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize