I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
