Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
