bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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