i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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