we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize