yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
