does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
