In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
