quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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