Soap is not a condiment
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
