If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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