sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
