Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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