I'm pants shitting drunk right now
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
