She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
