you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
