If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
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Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
that is very illegal...i love you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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