Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
