yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize