I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
