Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
