SEEEEXXX PLEASE
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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