ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.