If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
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the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
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the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.