this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.