So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
