If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He did a backflip because drugs
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