the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
